Friday has come again. Worked more this week, did pretty good, judging by the mess on my desk. Today was another step back to normalcy according to Van, as we went to the air show media day just as we have in the past. Restoring lost traditions is important to the Wife. The annual routine includes certain things that we just do, and we missed several months here of doing things we just do. So she felt good today about our outing. For me it was nothing like it was before. My snausage left leg is a true pain in the arse among other places. As I hobbled in and she waited patiently at the gate I felt remorse at the fact that normalcy now included me being handicapped. It is a bitter pill.
Saturday and normalcy again was the theme of the day as I participated in recycling, breakfast, a movie date in the afternoon and a dinner out. Reality returned upon arriving home to have my legs re-wrapped for the night to hold down the swelling. I continue to find reasons why it would be most merciful for me to meet an early end and let my Family get on with their lives. From the stress on my Daughters to the physical pain my Vanessa endures in my treatment regimen, the reasons accumulate for me to find that elusive cliff to drive off of. Yet there are no cliffs in Indiana, so we soldier on for another day.
June 15 Tuesday and the monsoonal rains continue each evening. Despite the heat and gloom I find myself in good spirits this morning after chemo. Dinner with the H family last night was fun and I did not have to be wrapped, and great break. Sunday I went to Van’s Church for the Bible School Program. While there during prayers and praises Gracey shouted out she was glad to have Mike back among us. I replied it was thrilling to once again be able to wear two shoes. This celebration carried on at Dr. H’s Monday session. He noted I was wearing my Bob Marley shoes. The infusion nurse danced with me to celebrate. After chemo I got my compression stockings, and we are talking compression. I will have to wear them for a while to judge if we have the right ones and if they do the job. There are varying degrees of compression, and universal understanding that no matter what they are not worn for comfort.
Normalcy, I thought a lot about this after Vanessa mentioned it. Over the week end we took in a matinee, dined in a nice restaurant, went to Church together, slept in the same bed for most of one night, worked in the garden together briefly, went to the June Jamboree, a local festival and had our annual K Burger, an inviting gastronomic gamble each year and had our weekly Sahm’s night, a local watering hole with a Friday well drink special. On the whole a very active and normal weekend for us in June and one Vanessa I think took great strength from. So normalcy has a place of importance that supersedes my being handicapped. My Skype calls with Rex have evolved into something like drop in visits, with easy conversation and so many unspoken understandings and courtesies. You would think we were Brothers. So it is probably a good thing I do not have a convenient cliff for my Family and Friends which makes it a good thing for me.
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