The Pee Pain

The Pee Pain
PP, or pee pain, is the result of something or some combination of some things. As we progress the fire has grown hotter and lingers longer after each event. Another one of those nasty little things I suppose, you have to pee every hour, and it takes the pain away, but you dread to pee, because the pp is every bit as bad as the pre-pee pain, just more concentrated in the Richard and the Twins area. An indicator of my decline in the past few weeks is not only the increased frequency but also amount of time it takes to recover from each event.
How long since I slept? I forgot, although I know I was sleeping with only 2-4 trips a night in December, seems like I can remember even going to bed and waking up when it was time to get up. But the body adjusts. With enough narcotics one can feel rested with a wake up every hour on the hour and enjoy a few minutes of severe and often times ‘sit down to handle it’ pain.
A problem with sickness is it becomes a dominant topic. I try not to make it so. Of course this journal is a road trip through my sickness, and leaving out the pain would not be fair to the record, in that it is such an integral part of it. I think it is a mistake to fear pain, but a good idea to avoid it. It is astounding the suffering one’s own body can do to its soul. But pain is a part of life, and too much fear of it would take one out of too much life I think.