The Last of February 2010

Saturday 2-27-10
Thought it was Sunday until about 2 pm when Van put me right. Reached out to a former coworker and survivor by e mail and made a connection. Reading of his accomplishments and his comforting words for me brought a tear. Set around all day, with a visit from John to cheer me, and a talk with Rex. Suffering a little, but likely it is a result of medicines for pain and comfort, and not the cancer. Cold most of the day, probably due to lack of motion. More research on chemo, and the more I research the more futile it all seems. I fight to not succumb to those feelings, must stay upbeat and must keep working.
Sunday February 28, 2010
I sense the healing process from the surgery is finally kicking in. While still interrupted three times in the night, with the help of one Lortab I gained some real rest. Adjusting to this routine. Jenny returns home today to the big city, where the pace of life and work are weighing on her psyche with ever more stress. I wish I could comfort her in some way but I can only be sympathetic to her situation. The sense of responsibility that our Parents instilled in us was passed on to our Daughters. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Visited with the boys tonight, Joe and Gerald. Had Van up there last week. My Dad hung out with Merle and some others at the Texaco after hours at least once a week. As we chatted around the table with Linda on the floor (she would not have it any other way) it so reminded me of those glimpses of memory from a bygone day. Old men acting like old ladies I thought to myself, as they doted over me and bled from me the details of my medical update. We laughed and covered their issues as well, from Joe’s ongoing battle with the vicious dog owners to Gerald’s spaghetti recipe.
Have a rash, on a finger, irritating; just what the hell I need may have picked my nose with that finger. Vanessa keeps me in balance. Renee showed up this morning, seen and heard more of her in 2 weeks than in the previous few months I think. Another unintended consequence of the big C is reuniting with loved ones whom you naturally drifted away from over the years. Many species and even some past and present governments cast out their sick and dying or hasten death in some fashion. At the end of the day family is what really counts. I know another cliché. Speedbump, the neighbor dog, has been keeping Tucker’s litter pan clean and helping herself to any food in Tucker’s bowl I suspect. Appreciate the pan service, but not sure it is worth the food, or if the food is even good for little the little booger.