31.7.10

Monday March 22, 2010 Seeing the Ologist

1 AM. Cannot sleep, keyed up about the meeting this afternoon with the Oncologist. Had the meeting in the afternoon. We discussed the chemo treatments. Jennifer no doubt noted my deterioration, and hearing the realities was really tough on her. How do we know if it is working? “When he doesn’t have that look on his face” Dr. Noah said. Look? What look? Apparently I wear my cancer on my sleeve. My evenings with Rex, tonight over an hour, are amazing to me. Although we live very different lives, we have no trouble sustaining a visit for an apparent unlimited time. It is a savior for me tonight especially. And now I can visit with Paul in Oregon, my little brother bigger than I am. While his connection is not as strong, never the less the ability to see him means a lot to me. Soon we will start a game of battleship to pass the time.
Plumbing has slowed and pain is intense. Van wanted some of the pain to be from other causes, but the Ologist carefully explained this cancer is very invasive and hard to kill and everything I had going on was consistent with that. Even I have my doubts.

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