Wednesday March 17, 2010 now 6 weeks since my TUR. Let my neighbor Bob know of my condition. It was hard. Bob has always been a favorite, as we have raised our children together and shared many a great moment, as his humor is in many ways like mine and we are both professional salesmen.
This cancer thing is so new. Hell, I still do not have the nomenclature down. In research this AM I read comments on a chat line. One told of someone like me, had surgery 7 years ago and cancer free, another with 8 surgeries, including partial lung removal in the last few years but still kicking. The cancer spreading here and there and knocked down or removed with each step. The value of continuing life against the quality of life is an issue I have faced with dogs, and now find myself in a position where I may have to make such judgments for myself. Of course Family will want to keep me around for as long as possible, just as I did every dog. Realistically, with no safety net for long term disability, and health insurance connected to keeping a job, is it fair to take a course that would jeopardize that and leave Vanessa with nothing once I am gone? Or, if this progresses and I can no longer work should I take a course of pain management as the disease runs its course. For now I still have a job, so we will face future hurdles as we incur them. Certainly part of the current agony today is not knowing ‘the what’ and the ‘what next’.
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