Today was a turn around day for me. Getting a letter from SD on his present condition helped me to remember how blessed I am at present. I find it more pressing to pray for him than me. I said goodbye to Bonnie tonight. She had been feeling low for a while and apparently got pretty weak and they found her at stage 4 and she is in hospice care, receiving visitors in her bedroom. She rose to see us and the family left us with her for a while. My breakdown at church now so long ago touched her heart I think. She always wanted to know if I had any pain. She told me she had no pain. I think Bonnie is 86.
I think my Mom died in pain, her last few days curled prenatal. Knowing what I know now I wonder if we gave her enough laxative knowing how long I suffered taking pain pills for the pain of intestinal blockage brought on by the pain pills I was taking.. I know now the true meaning of shits and giggles I guess.
Mom and I never said goodbye in parting, just goodnight, as was her tradition for as long as I can remember. She would say good night in the morning to beat saying goodbye. Goodbye she said was too final.
Bonnie is planning to tie up with her life mate very soon. She is gathering strength to play piano in the church one last time. I hope she can, but I don’t think I could be there for it. Such a trigger I fear would reduce me to a blubbering mass. God bless Bonnie, a good person that in her life touched many. You can see her pay it forward all over southern Madison County if you look (hidden blessings you know).
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