And Into The Bed

 I was exceedingly uncomfortable, learning from Jack the next day that my bed was improperly inflated and I was too drugged to complain and the Nurses missed it on their examinations.  Basically it put my lead butt in a bucket.  It was covered with an inflatable waffle.  Jack, who I practically had to talk a leg off to get a word out of him but found he had a lot to say, give me a sly look and said ‘be sure to take that home, that’s yours’, as he pumped it up.  As I jacked the bed and rolled about to get comfortable I did not want to run my TV, which was located in such a way to impact my roommate. 

At first with the curtain drawn between us I would call out to him without answer.  With the Daughters and Wife in the room we soon became rowdy.  Periodically the warnings on one or both of our IV pumps would go off, interrupting the melee.  Late in the evening I asked Aaron about pulling the curtain and we became introduced.  Aaron is 28, with spinal bifota a disease he was born with.  He is paralyzed.  He of course had to tell me twice, as I simply forgot that in our short time together repeatedly.  Both in bed hooked to tubes our handicaps never entered into that time.  He is here recovering from surgery for a pressure sore.  It is his 20^th surgery.  Twenty surgeries in 28 years of life was a little hard for me to comprehend.  I pondered it for a while.  He could only lay on his right side and stomach, his neck was killing him and he was tired of looking at the curtain so we became one room before night’s end, a night that found us up as much as asleep.  With my epidural and pain button I was chatty and it turns out Aaron was as well.  We shared family stories and those of our own and when the Girls came Thursday I introduced them, although they had already met while I was out of it Wednesday early evening.  His endurance and desire to go on was without question and it humbled me. He had an infectious smile, a gleam in his eye and was easily brought to a laugh.  Physical strength seems such a trivial and shallow pursuit in the face of such courage. 

In the dark of the morning Thursday Dr. K appeared at the foot of my bed.  Dressed as a teacher to the nines I never realized how sharp he looked, although Jennifer had been telling me all along.  He asked if I understood what we had talked about after surgery.  I said ‘you mean did I understand that I still have a bladder, you found a bladder cancer tumor on my colon and cut a section of colon out with it in and I need to talk to Dr. H’?  ‘Yes’ came his reply.  The day passed as I shared with my roommate and he shared with me.  Primary care came from my nurse and her assistant Jack.  Jack gave me my first hospital bath, helped me walk a couple of times. For the day both daughters were on hand and the conversation was lively and broad ranging.  Friday Dr. K asked if Dr. H had been in?  I said he had not, but I met with one of his residents.  He wanted to know what he told me.  I said he only asked questions.  ‘What kind of questions?’  The resident wanted to know the some of the same old stuff.  What else was wrong with me, how life was at home.  ‘Why are they asking that?’  ‘I have no idea, maybe the want to know how viable I am as a candidate.’  Dr. K gave me a puzzled look.  I have always felt he thinks I know more about my condition than I do.  It does give me some cause for concern that I do not.  I feel vulnerable, always sensing that those chart books carry some terrible message nobody really wants to tell me.  He left as abruptly as he came, and an hour later as the morning light broke through the window and the pain I had to use my button a couple of times the entire encounter seemed supernatural in a way. 

During the surgery, when Dr. K had me opened up and found the cancer had metastasized beyond what was expected he stopped and consulted with Dr. H and the two concurred that removing the bladder held no chance of a cure at this time.  Dr. K shows great faith in his team mates oncological skill and abilities.  Late in the evening they moved me to a private room.  Dr. K seemed concerned that I would be stressed in a room where others can eat.