My Morning Routine

Inger starts early, working my ‘pump points’ every morning. Last week she added reading the daily scripture first and so we have a new family routine. I only wish Vanessa could be part of it but we can never seem to find her. Anyway, Inger comes in and sits in my office chair, generally remarking about it’s condition. She starts to read the scripture for the day. Snickers comes in talking to her and jumps up in her lap. I get on the table and with some soft music in the background we get our heads on straight. After the reading the cat jumps down. Then the daily work over begins. So this routine is now part of our family routine, a time of togetherness we did not have before mandated by my situation. If you did not know I had a tumor this would be the story of a wealthy man, and if anything it shows how wealthy I am.

Inger My Swedish Massage Therapist

My Swedish masseuse without fail orders me onto the table that has now become a permanent fixture in my office. This daily regimen I think is the reason I have my mobility back. With a firm discipline and loving touch only my Inger has she works selected spots, pump points, to jump start my lymph system and flow from lower to upper half. She now has it moving predictably and last week I passed another milestone in wardrobe, getting back into my loafers which I almost retired thinking that would never happen just the week before. Without this care my condition would likely force me into disability and have me in a motorize chair terrorizing neighborhood dogs. Rex asked me a strange question, ‘Do you know who Inger really is?’ ‘Of course,’ came my reply, ‘she’s my Swedish masseuse.’

July 10, 2010 Is My Tumor Showing?

Here I sit, 5 am. If you didn’t know it, you would not be able to tell I had a tumor. This week was another giant leap in the return to normalcy. From daily work load to evenings and even early am writing, my routine has returned to even status with last year. Of course I still have physical limitations, and walk a lot slower, ever reminders to me of my condition, but in jeans and work shoes these go largely unnoticed. It is hard to describe the feelings in the left leg. There is a weariness there, to the bone, and tingling. Inger still must work me over on a regular basis. I have been working with the stockings. These are not for those who would sit all day, too much compression for that. My driving routines must now include more frequent stops to walk about. Otherwise the tightness causes pain in the foot and ankle. I carry a cane and sometimes must rely upon it and sometimes use it to slow the pace of those I am walking with. Everyone tells me I have ‘good color’ or ‘look great’. Some commend me on my courage, although I do not feel courageous. I am only trying to live a normal life. Normalcy must embrace my handicap and my disease for the remainder of my life here. So it is that you would not know by looking. Creating this illusion involves wearing Underarmour, or bicycle shorts as I am wearing today and high compression stockings, which I am putting on to match the need at this writing. One day this week I only wore one for the evening. However to keep the swelling under control they are part of my normal wardrobe. All this and Inger’s hard work and some days my legs are almost the same size.

Summer Officially 2010

Tuesday and now officially summer here. Monsoonal rains continue to pour each day with last night being the worse yet. July 17 is Bladder Cancer Awareness Day. I signed up for a picnic. Again, a club I never ever considered being part of and here I am. Yesterday Van and I were the only ones for most of our time in the infusion center. Due to my lack of white blood cells I was unable to have chemo. OK by me, not sure it is working anyway at this point. I am still very tired most of the time, and can only attribute that to the last medication I am still taking. Gabapentine lists that first on side effects. Hopefully I can end the dosage now that chemo is coming to an end.
Friday and Van took off at noon for her annual sorority bash in Michigan City. They are holding it at the casino hotel there, trendy. Although she always assures me she will call when she arrives, now at this hour she has surely been there a while and no call. Certainly another indication of a return to normalcy I think.
Another neighbor dropped in to talk with me and assure me that I was on their regular prayer list and that made a difference. What a neighborhood I live in. Dale M again mowed the yard today.
I find I can motor around better as the days go by, but the left leg is weak and aches constantly with or without the stocking on. A constant reminder of the cancer within carried with me. How nice.
Twice this week my normal every two hour urine extravaganza has included discharging flakes of dried blood I think, although I can only say from the sensation they are solid and have not fished one out for analysis. Makes me wary of the entire process frankly but there is no holding back.
Work is also returning to normal. I can still overdo it, and try to measure myself. The stockings are severe in case I did not mention it. Now I guess is my second week, although it is easy for me to loose track. I know Van is laundering them in a rotation and has a place set up to store them. I stowed the wrapping materials in the closet as the stockings seem to be doing the trick along with Inger’s daily work over. She also is gone this week end so I will be self massaging. I know that doesn’t sound right, but it is part of the disorder, MLD, manual lymph drainage, or to put it another way, go play with yourself. Nothing about bladder cancer is socially acceptable, even the unintended consequences like lymphedema it seems.
Jennifer is heading this way for the weekend, and Jocelyn is coming in tomorrow. Vanessa said I did not need any quiet reflection time while she was gone and they all made these arrangements to assure I would not. For me, what fun, as always I will go with the flow.