No Thanks, I'll Stand

I am convinced the animal is working to dehydrate me.  I am getting back into the routine, always at least a 16 oz mug at the ready, Britta pitcher water, less coffee, cranberry juice every day, and some milk every day.  Still the animal seems to be slightly ahead of me.  It almost seems like it is going straight through.  I wanted to go to a meditation tonight but after working all day and having an uncomfortable day I did not have it in me.

Van and I went to one of our favorite spots for a sandwich and I got a Margarita, she was driving and it is treacherous out there in spots so she elected to drink the water.  I improved somewhat through the night, or the pain medication has reached a level of saturation that is masking issues, no matter, comfort is the name of the game. 

An open letter to Santa;

Dear Santa,

Thank you for thinking of me and sending me my gift early.  I am not showing signs of imminent demise so I  am not sure why you chose to deliver it early, but thank you for the thought.

With regard to the gift, I have reviewed my list mailed December 6, 2010 certified and received December 10, 2010 and signed for by Alonzo Twinkie, ELF.  Please note item 3 on that list says Droid.  I was thinking of a smart phone.  Imagine my surprise when I unwrapped the box and lifted the lid only to be struck by a starry ball of magic.  Shortly thereafter I noted someone has placed a hot spear in my bum (English translation).  It is amazing what a difference a letter makes when reading a word.  Droid, roid, oh what a difference there is. 

I guess with all the years you have been in operation you would instinctively know that a burning hot golf ball in the arse is not an appropriate gift or Christmas.  Please advise how I can return.

Best Regards,

Mike Courtney

Chief Sitting on Donut

We all have hemorrhoids and we don’t want to admit it, however I would be remiss if I did not point out that the animal has delivered this painful blow to me probably just for fun.  Having so many years driving over a hundred thousand miles in pick ups I am familiar with roid control. 

My problems with appetite control, weight gain and the side effects of the gabapentine (nuerontin) made a flare almost inevitable.  Of course it means not enough fiber, I am eating fiber bars, using PH and sitting in hot water to get the thing down.  I had it under control but the laxative I took due to the pain pills I take created a stormy half day that blew me out again.  I am sure my toothless oracle looks like a rosebud. 

I am still experience urgency and significant pain of a type I am not sure I have previously experienced.  We see the Dr. H in a few days and I will have a CT scan done with contrast (yummy).  Perhaps that will shed some light on what is going on with me.