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| Just Three Crazy Guys November 2010 |
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
3.11.10
8.9.10
Past Life Memories And Present Friends Make My Day
Ah once again I can revel in the hidden blessings of the disease. Accepting lymphedema as a permanent handicap means I can say I have no issues at present. My friend from a previous life Dan called just to check up on me. I hired Dan into the business around 20 years ago or so by now I guess. I think he was still in his late teens. Today he is an honorable and sometimes formidable competitor. That is how it goes. You make your best competition in business the longer you are in business. I have done it several times directly and a bunch more indirectly and am proud of every one, even the ones that separated on less than ideal terms due to circumstances at the time. In other words historically as a boss I made mistakes and was sometimes an asshole.
Dan and I talked for a while about family, business and our adventures. As always we synced up pretty quickly, talking comfortably as we did when we were coworkers even though it has been some time since we spoke socially. Back in the early days of his career we covered a lot of miles as I worked to help him grasp the scope of what we do for a living, the difference between generators and doers, the conflicts between sales and accounting and the honor and fun of serving Customers externally and internally. I learned to be careful what to feed him, but even my most strident efforts in this regard were more often than not a vain attempt at tempering his digestive processes. He could clear a room or cause you to stop the truck and run for cover. What great laughs we had and still find that common bond all these years later.
Saw my friend Jon today. We got to sit and laugh for a few minutes in his shop then Customers and calls pulled him away. First time I saw him since the sickness started. Wish I had more time to spend, it was a great visit. Seeing him working in his shop, watching his easy manor of supervision over the poor b that hired on has as his day help (must be a tough job, not much tenure in the position) I sensed that he was living his dream at least in part. And then thinking if Dan I realized he was living his. How fortunate I am to be in the presence of such fortunate friends.
As for me today, a hovel is happy if it is home.
Dan and I talked for a while about family, business and our adventures. As always we synced up pretty quickly, talking comfortably as we did when we were coworkers even though it has been some time since we spoke socially. Back in the early days of his career we covered a lot of miles as I worked to help him grasp the scope of what we do for a living, the difference between generators and doers, the conflicts between sales and accounting and the honor and fun of serving Customers externally and internally. I learned to be careful what to feed him, but even my most strident efforts in this regard were more often than not a vain attempt at tempering his digestive processes. He could clear a room or cause you to stop the truck and run for cover. What great laughs we had and still find that common bond all these years later.
Saw my friend Jon today. We got to sit and laugh for a few minutes in his shop then Customers and calls pulled him away. First time I saw him since the sickness started. Wish I had more time to spend, it was a great visit. Seeing him working in his shop, watching his easy manor of supervision over the poor b that hired on has as his day help (must be a tough job, not much tenure in the position) I sensed that he was living his dream at least in part. And then thinking if Dan I realized he was living his. How fortunate I am to be in the presence of such fortunate friends.
As for me today, a hovel is happy if it is home.
5.8.10
Rambling Through the Second Week of May and My Special Gift of Bob
Monday and I am back to work, but only 6 hours due to the drugs mostly. Foot pain has transformed to something of a lesser grade as I am able to walk with only a stick and no longer need crutches.. It took me all day to work up a couple of contractor submittals. Need to get back into call mode ASAP. Shop is busy so I am told.
Dinner was Vans chili. A most flavorful excursion for sure and I ate my fill. Bob my neighbor showed up at six or so. He had an urgency about him, no time to sit and chat, he had to get my lawn mowed because it is going to rain an inch or more tomorrow. There was no stopping him and his desire to help with my situation. I think since he keeps me high on his church prayer list he needs to do something material for me to ease his conscious having worked himself into feeling guilty because we haven’t asked for anything and he hasn’t jumped in. Bob is pure of heart with a humor that is much like mine but a vastly different family situation with lots more kids all grown now. He is a Grandpa many times over and I thanked him. He assured me I had a lot of people praying for me. And so he was off and mowed my yard. It seems nothing I could do in return could possibly be worthy in the face of his gift, a gift greater than any money can buy. A gift of love for someone he knows only through occasional over the fence talk through the years. Wow.
It’s Friday and the week is nearly over. Tuesday I had chemo and was way out of sorts pretty much until yesterday afternoon. I cannot walk yet, as the pain in the bottom of my feet, while now manageable, prevents me from taking more than baby steps. Physical therapy Wednesday included an hour on the Flexitouch machine, an automatic massage device that runs 8 grand and of course is not covered by my insurance. My left leg is something of a water balloon, increasingly sensitive to touch. Van worked me over yesterday and I now where those sporty bike shorts with the padded seat as a girdle along with the wraps on both legs. My walking is excruciating at times, with a burning pain across the bottom of both feet. Therefore I walk in very short steps on a pair of rental crutches, setting feet flat with each step. Foot pain is inescapable. On the other hand clearly I am getting better. The girls want to start something called ‘Piss On Bladder Cancer’.
In a couple of weeks I will have completed a full treatment cycle. I still have my hair. I will get a CT scan and x ray to see what is going on with the cancer. For me it is not exactly a win win. If the chemo is not working, of course, that is not good for my long term prognosis, and I will join my Parents and all those dogs at a relatively young age. On the other hand I cannot help but remember that if the chemo is successful I will face horrendous surgery, being gutted like a fish. I will be left without the ability to have a sexual relationship with my Wife and without my bladder living with some sort of diversion or drain for the rest of my life. The cancer gives me no quarter in this regard, it is ‘part of it’. Oh well, we have the weekend to look forward to.
It’s 1:30 on Saturday, AM, took a nice walk down to the stop sign, about six hundred feet round trip, took a little while and Tucker drug me back, apparently she has four hollow legs. I find it so sad as I gaze across my lawn in the twilight with a brilliant clear sky filled with stars bright and twinkling. The air is clean and cool as I walk. Why shouldn’t we all as a species work to prevent our ultimate demise. Obviously we have to stop the families with 10 kids. Continued population means we will need another planet. Ah the Lortab, and I ramble.
Dinner was Vans chili. A most flavorful excursion for sure and I ate my fill. Bob my neighbor showed up at six or so. He had an urgency about him, no time to sit and chat, he had to get my lawn mowed because it is going to rain an inch or more tomorrow. There was no stopping him and his desire to help with my situation. I think since he keeps me high on his church prayer list he needs to do something material for me to ease his conscious having worked himself into feeling guilty because we haven’t asked for anything and he hasn’t jumped in. Bob is pure of heart with a humor that is much like mine but a vastly different family situation with lots more kids all grown now. He is a Grandpa many times over and I thanked him. He assured me I had a lot of people praying for me. And so he was off and mowed my yard. It seems nothing I could do in return could possibly be worthy in the face of his gift, a gift greater than any money can buy. A gift of love for someone he knows only through occasional over the fence talk through the years. Wow.
It’s Friday and the week is nearly over. Tuesday I had chemo and was way out of sorts pretty much until yesterday afternoon. I cannot walk yet, as the pain in the bottom of my feet, while now manageable, prevents me from taking more than baby steps. Physical therapy Wednesday included an hour on the Flexitouch machine, an automatic massage device that runs 8 grand and of course is not covered by my insurance. My left leg is something of a water balloon, increasingly sensitive to touch. Van worked me over yesterday and I now where those sporty bike shorts with the padded seat as a girdle along with the wraps on both legs. My walking is excruciating at times, with a burning pain across the bottom of both feet. Therefore I walk in very short steps on a pair of rental crutches, setting feet flat with each step. Foot pain is inescapable. On the other hand clearly I am getting better. The girls want to start something called ‘Piss On Bladder Cancer’.
In a couple of weeks I will have completed a full treatment cycle. I still have my hair. I will get a CT scan and x ray to see what is going on with the cancer. For me it is not exactly a win win. If the chemo is not working, of course, that is not good for my long term prognosis, and I will join my Parents and all those dogs at a relatively young age. On the other hand I cannot help but remember that if the chemo is successful I will face horrendous surgery, being gutted like a fish. I will be left without the ability to have a sexual relationship with my Wife and without my bladder living with some sort of diversion or drain for the rest of my life. The cancer gives me no quarter in this regard, it is ‘part of it’. Oh well, we have the weekend to look forward to.
It’s 1:30 on Saturday, AM, took a nice walk down to the stop sign, about six hundred feet round trip, took a little while and Tucker drug me back, apparently she has four hollow legs. I find it so sad as I gaze across my lawn in the twilight with a brilliant clear sky filled with stars bright and twinkling. The air is clean and cool as I walk. Why shouldn’t we all as a species work to prevent our ultimate demise. Obviously we have to stop the families with 10 kids. Continued population means we will need another planet. Ah the Lortab, and I ramble.
Accepting Help - Part Of The Safety Net
By nature and upbringing, I never asked for uncompensated help for much of anything. During Dad’s long sickness and the great strike in the early sixties we were reduced to a bland diet. Neighbors and others contributed when hearing of our plight and Dad was gracious accepting it. I am overwhelmed at the gracious outpouring of help when we need it. Jim spent an afternoon sharpening the mower blades and has once done the lawn like a professional. Phil has done the hedges and slipped in last week with a JD every five acre man would want and tilled the garden. Wow is all I can say. Many stand ready to answer any call or need. For the most part it is Vanessa’s safety net answering the call. I find that comforting going forward.
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